Being Fully Human, Children, mothers day, peace, terrorism, war

Mother’s Day – Fail

Mother's Day Figure

Every year we set aside one day to celebrate our mothers or miss our mothers or lament that we didn’t have more loving mothers. Some of us celebrate that we are mothers, grieve the loss of children or the inability to have ever given birth.

But Mother’s Day has not always been a sentimental Hallmark holiday. The very first Mother’s Days were attempts to organize mother’s for political reasons and social causes.

One of the first organized Mother’s Days was led by Julia Ward Howe. It was 1870 when Julia appealed to mothers to rally for peace.

This was her proclamation:

Arise then…women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!
Say firmly:
“We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage,
for caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country,
Will be too tender of those of another country
to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”
From the voice of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with
our own. It says: “Disarm! Disarm!
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice.”
Blood does not wipe out dishonor,
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil
at the summons of war,
let women now leave all that may be left of home
for a great and earnest day of counsel.
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
whereby the great human family can live in peace…
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God –
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

Julia’s words should hang heavy on us in this day when we continue to be steeped in violence, discrimination and war. Isn’t it time we hear her cry to protect children wherever they might live?

Mother’s Day wasn’t started as a way to celebrate moms. It was started as an attempt to rally mothers together for a cause greater than themselves – the cause of peace.

It doesn’t seem to have done the job.

Namaste.

Advertisements
Standard
Being Fully Human, childhood sexual abuse, Children, darkness to light, healing, listening, sexual abuse, sexualized violence, shame, survivor, vulnerable

Bound By Shame

Barbara Lee survivorHappy New Year! How many of you celebrated? I wanted to go see Jack Leaver perform at the Highway Inn, but I didn’t feel well enough to go out. Were any of you there? Did you hear what happened there? One of the waitresses announced that it was time to get ready and that at the stroke of midnight she wanted every person standing next to the one person who makes their life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

Leif and I spent a quiet night at home ourselves. I had an interesting dream the night before that Leif had given me a diamond necklace as a New Year’s Eve present. I asked him what he thought it meant and he told me I would find out that night. At midnight, as the New Year was chiming on his grandfather clocks, Leif handed me a package. I was so excited, I ripped the paper off and there in my hand was a book entitled:  ‘The meaning of dreams’.

There was something much less funny posted in the news during the holidays. I know that some of you saw it because I was so appalled I posted it on Facebook. Someone in a bar posted a sign on the door that said, “We like our beer like we like our violence… domestic.” It was eventually taken down, but it served as a sad reminder that despite our holiday merriment, there is much pain that people are somehow managing to endure and that we have a responsibility as human beings to try to bring to an end.

Darkness to Light

As you know, today we will be having Darkness to Light training after the Gathering and I hope you will stay for it. This training is specifically about recognizing and responding to child sexual abuse.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where this training is critical. I wish it weren’t so. I wish this nation lived out the ideals it says it does.

  • But the reality is that half of all music videos on MTV feature or suggest violence, present hostile sexual situations as acceptable, or show male heroes abusing women for fun.
  • The reality is that there are 4 times as many peepshows and adult bookstores in the US than there are McDonald’s.
  • The reality is that one in eight Hollywood movies depicts a rape theme.

Can you imagine what life would be like if we were not such a civilized and morale people? Clearly we human beings continue to make a mess of this world we’re living in.

And we know it. Retired Republican Congressman James T. Walsh said, “The sexual abuse and exploitation of children is one of the most vicious crimes conceivable, a violation of mankind’s most basic duty to protect the innocent.”  That failure to protect the most vulnerable among us has deep and lasting consequences. And it happens far too often. At least 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday.

The Legacy of Abuse

Most people who are sexually abused as children experience difficulties related to the abuse. They can experience strong, sometimes crippling emotions, even decades after the event.  These emotions include:

  1. Fear: of recurrence, of sexual intercourse, of intimacy.
  2. Anger, with God, with the molester, with people in general.
  3. Guilt, thinking they caused the act, that they didn’t fight hard enough, that their body betrayed them by responded to the act.
  4. and perhaps most debilitating of all, Shame.

So what is shame? Have you ever felt as if there was something happening in your life over which you had no control? Clinical Psychologist Gershen Kaufman describes shame in this way. He calls shame an impotence-making experience because it feels as though there is no way to relieve the matter, no way to restore the balance of things. There is no single action that is wrong and can be repaired. Shame isn’t about feeling like you did something wrong, it’s about feeling like there is something inherently wrong with you. Shame arises out of the belief that one has simply failed as a human being.

And shame is a binding experience. Shame is the painful feeling of being exposed, being made vulnerable, being uncovered and left unprotected, being naked and looked at by others. Shame implies that we were at some time vulnerable to the scorn, disrespect and even the hate of another human being and that no repair followed.

Shame leads to self-shaming, to rejecting our self before others can reject us. Shame brings distance between people and even within parts of our self. As a result we may find ourselves raging at others, mistrusting people, striving for perfection, striving for power, or internally withdrawing all in an effort to protect our self from further hurt.

It’s hard for me to think of anything more binding in our culture today then the painful reality of sexual abuse and the shame that too often results. Any activity that a person feels violates her or his boundaries may fall within the realm of sexual abuse, but today we are focusing on childhood sexual abuse. We’re especially aware of the children in our lives right now having moved through the holidays with our own children, grand children, nieces and nephews. And now we are more than ready for them to return to school. And we would do anything to keep them from being hurt.

Unwanted Sexual Attention 

Child sexual abuse includes any experience during childhood or adolescence that involves inappropriate sexual attention by another person, usually an adult, but sometimes an older child, teenager, or even a same-aged playmate. The behavior may be forced, coerced, or even willingly engaged in by the survivor, but it is understood as abusive because a child cannot truly give free consent.

Fear, anger, guilt and shame influence behavior, causing irrational, sometimes hostile reactions to natural life situations.  Often, a person is bound in their own secrecy, ashamed and afraid to share this part of the self and the past with others.

I was bound for 22 years before I could claim publicly that I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I was bound by shame that set in when a traumatic silence followed the abuse. As with most child sexual abuse, my perpetrators were not strangers, but the son and the daughter of my father’s friend. When my father learned about the abuse, nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. In the end, it was that lack of any noticeable reaction at all that was more damaging to me than the abuse itself.

I was confused and puzzled. Was it really acceptable that this had happened to me? Apparently, it was. I internalized a sense of being deeply flawed and I filled my emotional warehouse with a great reserve of shame.

Suffering in Silence

People who are bound by shame suffer in silence that they cannot break. So it is up to us to speak. We need to speak the truth about their experience. We need to say out loud and regularly: You did nothing to deserve sexual abuse.  There was nothing in this act that God or anyone else willed. This abuse hurt creation because you are creation’s precious child. Love wants you to be healed, to be loosed from your bonds and to once again stand up tall and straight. You can feel whole and clean and joyful again.

And if a survivor is able to break his or her own silence, then we need to be able to listen. Victims of sexual abuse struggle with trying to find a sense of universal love and compassion in the midst of their horror. We need to listen to their stories if we are to appreciate the reality of that horror and confront the hard questions about sexuality and violence in our culture. More than easy answers, they need us to listen carefully, to not assume that we can easily understand their pain and their grief.

And if we are to really take seriously our task of healing the binding results of abuse, then we cannot only pay attention to individual victims and their recovery. We must also act to heal the ills of our society. Frankly, we live in a rape culture in which primarily children and women receive messages every day that their bodies are meant to be used as commodities and that violations of their bodies will be ignored, tacitly condoned or blamed on them.

Confronting Sexualized Violence

It is natural for us to recoil from such a harsh truth, to close our eyes to the pervasiveness and the horror of sexual abuse in our own backyard. It is much more comfortable to redirect our attention to the outward and reprehensible abuses of other people in other lands because acknowledging the cold, hard truth of our own country’s atrocities forces us to question our belief that we are part of a democratic society that is both rational and decent, as well as our desire to believe that we as a people are loving and kind.

We need to face up to the reality and horror of sexualized violence in our media, in our neighborhoods, in our lives – not try to cover it up. And we need to monitor our own actions, our language, our choices in this life so that we do not contribute to a society that continues to harm, to bind and to cripple our sons and our daughters.

Shame is a biding experience, but it is not a life sentence. Even the bonds of shame can be untied. And that starts with us. With our actions, our words, and our awareness. Please be part of the untying and the healing by joining us for the Darkness to Light training today. An unknown author wrote, “You can’t fight the dark. You can wait for the light, you can look for the light, you can share the light, or you can shine.” Today I invite you to shine.

The light in me recognizes and bows to the light in you. Namaste.

Standard
beign fully human, Children, gay, gender identity, glbt, heterosexual privilege, homophobia, love, parenting, sexual orientation

Parenting GLBT Children

GLBT Coming Out DayLast week was National Coming Out Day and since then I’ve been thinking a lot about heterosexual privilege. Sadly, our society as a whole has not been accommodating to those who don’t fit the sexual stereotypes they enforce. I’m struck in my heterosexual privilege about what it means to be expecting the birth of a child. What’s the big question? Is it a boy or a girl? Do you know? Are you going to find out? Or are you going to wait and be surprised?

Because that little, tiny piece of information unlocks the entire future. Boy or Girl goes way beyond what color I am going to pain the nursery. It also tells me what clothes I am going to dress my child in, what toys I am going to buy for them, and how I am going to refer to them. It gives me a good idea of what kinds of activities they will be involved in, what kind of career they might follow, what life transitions they will face.

Perhaps most importantly, it tells me how I will relate to my child. What kind of relationship I can expect over the years and what role will I play in their life in the years to come. The sex of my child ultimately becomes something very personal about me – because my role is different if I am the mother or father of a boy than if I am the mother or father of a girl.

And usually – even though we are all unique and we all bring unique twists to our relationships – those assumptions play out pretty much the way we expect them to. That is heterosexual privilege.

Almost two months ago I got a call from a woman I knew from my work in the West Michigan Community. She was very upset and she couldn’t think of anyone else to call. She called me because she had heard me talk about my book Sacred Sex and thought I would be a safe person to talk to. Why was she so distressed? Her 16 year old grand daughter had just announced that she was a boy. She had never had anything like this happen to her before – and she was overwhelmed with the news.

I talked to her about three or four days later and she was doing better. She had talked to her grand *son* and knew that this person was the same person she had always loved. But she also knew she would have a lot of mourning to do because this grandchild was not the image of the grandchild she had carried with her for 16 years. Old expectations about this child and about grandma’s role in this child’s life had swept away and uncertainty and fear had come into the void.

An often overlooked segment of the population who suffers in the wake of anti-LGBT propaganda and misunderstanding are the allies, friends and family members. Particularly  parents.  So today, I am grateful for all of those parents who stand by their children through their “coming out” and who continue to love and cherish them unconditionally. Thank you for your testimony of love and humanity.

Namaste!

Standard
Being Fully Human, Buddha, Children, Compassion, Forgiveness, Jesus, Mistakes, Progressive Christianity, Relationship, Respect, Spiritual

“Oops!”

MistakesFor those of you who don’t know it yet, I have a unique family. Leif is my life partner. He works as a supervisor for Ottawa County Parks and is on beach patrol every weekend during the summer. Yeah, hard assignment, right? I also have a significant daughter Brigid. Brigid is Leif’s niece but he is really her surrogate dad. Her own father took off after she was born and Leif stepped in and took over a lot of her care. Leif and I have Brigid every night. So the three of us are a pretty unconventional family. And when I’m lucky one of my boys will join us. Alex is 19 and Jackson is 22 and they also live here in Grand Haven.

So last year Brigid got two miniature frogs for her birthday from our neighbor Marylou. They were living in an enclosed Plexiglas container into which you drop four pellets of food twice a week. Well, unlike this summer, last summer had days that were actually hot. On one of those days Leif was worried that the frogs would get to hot and start to cook, so he put them in the refrigerator.

Really. The next day – when he remembered that he had put the frogs in the refrigerator – he discovered that they weren’t moving. He felt pretty bad about this but it was clearly too late to do anything differently so he dumped the frogs into the toilet. He hit the flusher and just as the water started to swirl, the frogs started trying to swim – and continued to try as they were swept cleanly away. Leif made a mistake.

What about an example a little more close to home? I used to work at Fruitport Dry Cleaners while I was going to college. It was a great job because there was very little activity. I would bring in my homework and then have to deal with the occasional annoyance of customers. One Saturday when noon came around, I closed the shop and went home. A few hours later the owner called me up wondering what in the world the problem was – since the shop was supposed to be open until 6pm. To this day I don’t remember what made me believe it was time to go home. But I do remember how mortified I felt. I was embarrassed and humiliated and certain I would never be forgiven by my employer. I wanted nothing more than to die right then and there and never have to face anyone again for the rest of my life. To my young, hyper-responsible self, this was as close to the end of the world as I had ever experienced. I made a mistake.

Sadly, mistakes are hereditary. Have any of you have ever put liquid dish soap in the dishwasher? Exactly ten years ago, my son Jackson called me from the house where he was babysitting to say, “I have a problem. I wanted to do a really good job and clean the dishes…” I knew what was coming next. To make matters worse the only thing he could find in the house to clean up was a swifter – what ever happened to the good old fashioned mop?

So I brought him a mop – and a wet vac – and listened to him ask over and over again, “How was I supposed to know?” Well, he wasn’t supposed to know. He did what he thought he was supposed to do. He did not get the results he expected. He will do it differently next time – and he’s got a great story he can laugh about for the rest of his life. He made a mistake.

Common Humanity
If there’s one thing that unites us in common humanity, it has to be the fact that we all make mistakes. No one is immune.  Even the historical Buddha had a period when he made the mistake of over-compensating for his luxurious upbringing by becoming an ascetic and starving himself. He literally tortured himself in the name of spirituality. That’s a pretty big mistake. But it was only because he made this mistake that he was able to find the middle way between the extremes of luxury and austerity. Mistakes are not a bad thing; they are the food for our spiritual journey.

We all make mistakes. Big ones, small ones. In fact mistakes make the best stories don’t they? And they make for the best learning experiences. Mistakes are part of being human. Al Franken said, “Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.” So not only are mistakes not something to be ashamed of, they are something to be embraced!

When was the last time you sat and reflected with joy upon the mistakes you have made in your life?  The run of the mill mistakes and the great big whoppers? Were they exciting? Were they fun? Did you laugh at yourself? Or did you hang your head in shame? How do you view your mistakes? Are they learning opportunities …or proof of your imperfection? Do you recognize the value of mistakes… or feel instead the need to blame somebody – yourself or someone else – when they happen?

If you’re still playing the blame game, then maybe you haven’t quite figured out yet what a mistake is. You see, you can’t help making mistakes – if you’re doing anything at all. We don’t do mistakes on purpose – that’s the whole point. They’re only mistakes in retrospect.

Each of us faces countless times during the day when decisions that require some kind of assessment and response have to be made. Big decisions, little decisions. We make them based on what we think will result. If the thing happened that we expected to happen, we don’t give it another thought. But if something else happens, then we realize – oops! I made a mistake.

And the good news is that’s perfectly okay! Here’s the thing. We always need to be aware that we MAKE mistakes – we are not mistakes ourselves.

We are NOT Mistakes
I was a spunky kid! I hated my kindergarten teacher Miss Peters. But my first grade teacher Mrs. McKenzie was like Mrs. Butterworth and Captain Kangaroo all rolled up in one. She loved me and I would have done anything to try to impress her. One day we were joining the kindergarten class to watch a movie. I must have been feeling pretty full of myself because I decided to have a comic moment. When Miss Peters asked if we were ready, I jovially said, “No.”

But Miss Peters didn’t think I was funny at all. She scanned the room with her dark heart and her evil eyes and asked who said it. And my classmates – ratted me out! Then she sent me to my room to wait, horrified, for Mrs. McKenzie to come in and discover what mayhem I had almost wrought upon the entire class. The problem was that I didn’t have my grown up perspective and I didn’t know it wasn’t a big deal. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I didn’t feel like I had made a mistake – I felt like I WAS a mistake.

It took me a long time to accept my own imperfection and to come to terms with my faults and my flaws. I used to carry around a lot of shame that made me believe I was a mistake. I ended up in abusive relationships that reinforced the idea that I was a mistake. The mistakes I made that led me into those relationships were just further evidence that I was a mistake. There is nothing more debilitating and unproductive in the whole world than believing you are a mistake.

Because if you are a mistake, you can’t do anything to make things better. If, on the other hand, we make mistakes, we can always take the next step in creating a better outcome. When we realize that we only made a mistake, we become empowered to change our life for the better. And if we can change our own life, we can change the world.

I made a mistake thinking I was a mistake. It turns out I am more precious than even I can comprehend. And so are you. So here’s mantra I want you to learn and use: I made all of my decisions the best I could at the time I made them. I made all of my decisions the best I could at the time I made them. I made all of my decisions the best I could at the time I made them.

Now can you learn to relax in that knowledge and receive the grace that is yours to give yourself? Because when it comes to recognizing our common humanity, to recognizing the inherent dignity of every human being, we absolutely have to start with our self. Self-compassion comes from the recognition that we are all human and we all make mistakes. When we are aware of our common humanity, we remember that feelings of inadequacy and disappointment are universal. When we can claim our own worth, we can deeply value and appreciate others, recognizing that pain and disappointment are part of the shared human experience. Compassion toward our own mistakes leads us to extending compassion to others who also make mistakes.

Parable of the Wheat and the Weeds
Jesus told a parable about the Farmer who planted a field and was standing in it when he noticed weeds. The workers wanted to pull up the weeds but the Farmer made the absolutely crazy decision not to, adding that the weeds would be burned at harvest time. In this story, Jesus points us to a truth found in all wisdom traditions – that we have the seeds of both wheat and weeds within us.

I have learned, rather painfully, that I can do good and I can do bad – and what’s more – I can’t always tell the difference. Sometimes I have the best of intents, and I still manage to hurt someone I love. Sometimes I go out of my way to do a good deed, and only end up causing more of a mess than there was before I got involved. But then again, things that didn’t go the way I thought they would way back when have led in strange and amazing ways to many of the wonderful outcomes I’m experiencing today.

Like the mistakes we wish we had never made, each of us carries within us parts of our self that we view as weeds. We wish we could just yank out that part of our being and throw it into the furnace. But the parable cautions us not to. It says we have to learn to be patient with our self, to see our self as a field in which all of our life is in balance and to remove even a part of us that is ill is to pull with it a part that is healthy.

Each one of us does the best we can at any particular moment not knowing what the outcome will be.

A mistake is only declared when I stand in judgment over some past action. And I am not equipped to make such a judgment – not about the actions you have taken and not about the actions I have taken. My time frame is too short, my perspective too limited, my disposition too impatient to see the fullness in the growth of the field. To appreciate the harvest yet to come.

You see, you can’t set out to make a mistake. A mistake is only a mistake in retrospect – through a lens different than the one you use right now. And that lens will change over time. So who are you and who am I to say anything is a mistake or not? Well, putting dish soap in a dishwasher does seem to be a bona fide mistake, but you get my drift.

Now, a precautionary word. Embracing our mistakes does not give us license to do anything we please. Sometimes we make a conscious choice to act out of anger or envy or greed, knowing even as we choose our action that someone will be hurt. Now we might want to claim later that we made a mistake – but that kind of action is not a mistake at all. Mistakes require a good intent – a desire to do what is right. And so we are invited to act with courage the best we can today – knowing that even with the best of intentions we will make mistakes.

So what do we do? If we are to be whole we must live with the knowledge that we are both good and bad. And then we do our best. We decide intentionally that we will not live in judgment of others or our self. Instead, we choose to live. And if we are going to live, we will inevitably make mistakes. Jim Carrey delivered the graduation speech at the Maharishi University of Management this year. He said that he learned many great lessons from his father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.

The trouble is that we tend to amplify the mistakes and forget the successes, which creates such a heavy burden of guilt for so many of us. And just when we thought we let go of that last mistake and forgave our self, something happens that triggers those old scripts and we find we’re beating ourselves up all over again. So instead of replaying our mistakes in our heads over and over again, I suggest we all make a list of our successes – and start playing them over and over in our head – when things are going well and especially when they’re not.

Kamma
So instead of always having a list of mistakes we can turn to in blame, we have an automatic treasure trove of reminders of all the good things we have done in our life. Redirecting our thoughts to what is positive and life giving is a very Buddhist practice. When we claim our true Self or the Buddha nature within us, it grows. If we focus on the mistakes and the errors, our sense of failure and incompetence grows. If we dwell on any thought, that thought grows and grows. So we can consciously turn our hearts around and dwell upon the positive in ourselves, the purity, the goodness, the source of that unconditional love that seeks to serve others. And when we can forgive our own faults and focus on our own goodness and kindness, we can do the same with other people. We can dwell upon their goodness and watch it grow.

This is what Buddhists call kamma – an intentional action. The way we think about life, the way we speak about life, what we do with life. And it really is up to us what we do with our life. It is not up to some supernatural being somewhere who says whether we will be happy or not. Our happiness is completely in our hands, in our power. This is what Buddhists mean by kamma.

So what if we decided to live in happiness instead of fear? How different would our lives be if we celebrated the fact that we all make mistakes and stopped playing it safe? The willingness to risk making a mistake comes when we finally let go of fear and embrace the possible. Mistakes prove that we are creative enough to do something besides what we have always done before. They mean that we are living a life rich in creativity and courage that we have the audacity to believe in ourselves and in the people around us.

In the book Sacred Cows Make the Best Burgers there is this pertinent quote: “If you aren’t making mistakes you aren’t doing anything worth a damn.”

Namaste!

Standard
Being Fully Human, Children, Humility

Children

On this day we prayKids for tender compassion on all little ones, whose new souls, so fresh from the light, shine in our midst with adorable brightness. May we honor them deeply, learn from them truly, respecting the deep wisdom they carry. – Daphne Rose Kingma

I was raised a Lutheran. I was baptized at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church in Muskegon when I was three weeks old because the pastor was leaving and my parents wanted to slip me in before his car pulled out of town. Shortly after that we transferred to Bethlehem Lutheran Church in Muskegon Heights.

When I was in fifth grade Pastor Beem instructed me, and a couple of other eager youth, in the meaning and purpose of Communion. After my lessons, I was able for the first time in my life to kneel at the rail surrounding the forbidden altar and actually eat what tasted and felt like a little piece of Styrofoam that always stuck to the roof of my mouth (those of you who have been around churches long enough know what I’m talking about). Then I got to try to remove the sticky pasty glue with the help of a sip of sweet, thick Mogen David wine.

I don’t remember what Pastor Beem said about the meal, but I remember the feeling of having it served to me. I was someone different, more special. I knew that I was now part of the club. No longer left out, no longer just a kid. The doors had been flung open and I had joined the ranks of the elders of the church.

A short time later my family and a few others began a mission start in Fruitport. Eventually we called Pastor Jack to serve us. I loved Pastor Jack for a lot of reasons – mostly because he was the first adult who had ever intentionally told me his first name – and then allowed me to USE it! But there was one thing about Pastor Jack that hurt me deeply. Pastor Jack didn’t believe kids should receive communion until they had completed confirmation – and that didn’t usually happen until about 9th grade.

Wham! Just like that the door was slammed shut and I was denied something far more important than bread and wine. I was labeled as a mere kid, a baby. As one unworthy to receive the holy meal and unable to even understand what I was missing.

It was a pretty demoralizing experience, to be returned to the ranks of the children – and particularly ironic given the way children were treated by the person who started the meal in the first place. You see, Jesus never turned the children away or told them they had to grow up before he’d have time for them. In fact he even rebukes the disciples when they try to keep the kids away. (Rebuke means he got pretty bent out of shape over the whole deal and made sure his followers knew about it.)

It seems Jesus wasn’t concerned about little sticky hands hanging on his clothes, little show offs vying for attention, or little high pitched voices asking simple or silly or repetitive questions. Everyone was welcome to approach the teacher and to ask for prayer.

But Jesus went a lot further than that. The texts that record these occasions aren’t about giving permission to the least of society to bask in the presence of real greatness. They aren’t about taking pity on those who are normally left out so that they too might receive something important. They don’t even remind us to be patient or kind while reminding us that it’s okay for kids to be kids.

Instead, Jesus’ words in these texts are a slap in the face to adulthood, to maturity, to educated reason and proper decorum. Jesus turns the very structure of society upside down. He doesn’t tell us to allow the kids get a glimpse of how great it is to be us – to be adults – to be part of the in crowd.

He tells us that the only way we’re going to find the kingdom is if we become like little children. Humble, trusting, and unpretentious. When we learn to welcome the little children we discover that we’re not doing them a favor after all. Instead, they are doing us one.

Invitation to Reflection:

1)      When have you been treated like an adult? Like a child?

2)      What does it mean to “change and become like little children”?

3)      Who is the most important child in your life? What might they have to teach you?

Standard